Slowing Down for the Holidays
Opt out of the holiday rush and spend time doing what you love
the Evergreen is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a subscriber today.
For whatever reason, as soon as the calendar hits December 1, there’s an energy in the air that feels frantic. It’s that feeling that there’s so much to do and so little time. The buzz is almost palpable.
Suddenly the shoulds start creeping in. I should buy gifts for everyone; I should shop the sales; I should be the perfect host(ess); I should decorate my home a certain way; I should attend all the parties and events; I should have a nice dress/suit to wear; I should make the holidays magical for my kids.
The expectations are above and beyond our ability to do it all. So why do we put extra pressure on ourselves around the holidays? Is it for the sake of tradition? Do we even enjoy it?
PSA: The holiday season doesn’t need to be hectic and stressful. You don't need to do it all.
You can certainly try to do it all, but it will likely leave you overwhelmed, exhausted and overspent.
I used to get caught up in the do-all approach, but over the years I’ve learned that it doesn’t have to be that way. You can let go of the obligation, the guilt, the shoulds.
You get to define how you spend the holidays.
Journal Reflection
As with most things, I like to start with a journaling exercise.
What do I value most about the holiday season?
Does this (tradition, experience, gift, event, obligation, etc.) matter to me? Why?
What can I release?
What do I want to hold onto? How can I simplify it?
Take a moment to reflect on your personal values and view the season from a fresh perspective.
5 Senses Approach
Not only is getting in touch with the 5 senses a great grounding tool, it can also help you define the type of holiday season you want to experience. Imagine your ideal holiday and make a list of your favorite things things realted to each of your senses. Here are some suggestions:
What do you see?
the glow of twinkle lights
the first snowfall of the season
children playing in the snow
holiday movies
What scents do you smell?
frasier fir or pine
gingerbread cookies baking in the oven
crisp winter air
the burning of a wood fireplace
What do you taste?
All the cookies
hot chocolate with whipped cream
peppermint candycanes
warm soup
What do you feel?
the warmth of a cozy fire
fuzzy slippers
soft blankets
fleece pajamas
the winter chill on your cheeks
well rested after a couch nap
What do you hear?
your favorite holiday songs
children’s concerts
the crackling of a fire
the voice of a loved one you haven’t seen in a while
children laughing
Safeguard Your Time and Energy
Once you reflect on your ideal holiday experience, decide how you want to spend your time.
What matters most to you? Pick your top 3 things and make them happen.
For example, every year our family enjoys attending the Nutcracker ballet, participating in and attending our church’s Christmas pageant, and making pierogi as a family for Christmas Eve. All three events get scheduled on our calendar, and any other events that pop up are negotiable.
When it comes to RSVPs, I follow the guideline that it’s easier to take back a ‘no’ than a ‘yes’. (Thanks Courtney Carver!) By protecting my time, I can decide how I want to curate my schedule and what I have energy for. It’s OK to say ‘no’ if your heart isn’t in it.
Another example would be to choose 3 things that matter most about hosting a holiday dinner. It could be a specific dish you serve, the music you play, a table centerpiece, the wine you pour, and so on. Choose the 3 things you want to focus your energy on and let go of, or outsource, the rest.
When it comes to generosity this season, you can choose 3 service opportunities or organizations to donate to. You can purchase gifts for families in need, donate winter clothing items for the homeless, serve a meal in a shelter, or volunteer at a food pantry. Decide what feels good and focus your energy on giving from the heart.
The concept of 3 things can be applied to many areas of the season: events, hosting, gift giving, service, to-do lists, decorating, cookie baking, etc. Choose your top 3 and let go of the rest. If you have capacity beyond your top 3, consider it a bonus. Note: Your top 3 could include built-in time for rest (my favorite to-do list item).
Gift Giving
A big stressor of the holiday season is everything involved around the process of gift giving. Creating wish lists, budgets, shopping, packaging, wrapping, getting together to exchange, and sometimes returning. It all takes a lot of effort.
How can you redefine gift giving among your family and friends to remove stress from the process? Here are some ideas for simplifying gift giving.
Agree to do a gift raffle where each family member exchanges with one person, rather than everyone buying for everyone.
Decide to take friends out for a meal or a fun experience together instead of exchanging tangible gifts.
Tip service providers double instead of shopping for gifts.
Donate to a charity in your gift recipient’s name.
Set a low dollar limit for gift exchanges. This takes some pressure off of getting the perfect gift. Some of the best gifts are gift cards for a cup of coffee or a sweet treat.
Bake something homemade and share it with loved ones and neighbors.
Create a book of coupons for the gift recipient to cash in. One free foot rub, breakfast in bed, or a night of babysitting. Get creative with it!
Purchase reuseable gift bags instead of wrapping with paper, ribbon, and bows.
Opt out of exchanging altogether.
The Bottom Line
Sometimes we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to make the holidays perfect. If doing it all is what you love, then by all means go for it. But if it’s making you feel stressed and overwhelmed, you have the power to change how you spend the season. Slow down and make space for more joy and less stress this year.
Hot Tip: You don’t have to send out holiday cards. I promise, it will be OK.
Do you have a lifestyle topic you’re interested in reading about? Submit content suggestions here.
My Holiday Favorites
I love listening to Peaceful Piano Holiday Radio on Pandora. I play it in the background whenever I’m home, and intstantly feel more calm. (Those who know me well will be shocked to hear that I took an hour nap on the couch while listening the other day).
These scandi holiday mugs make my cup of coffee more cheerful.
My favorite treat to make for family and friends this time of year is this 5 ingredient toffee. It’s so simple and delicious.
Favorite holiday movies: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Elf, and The Grinch.
These Nutcracker comfy pants and stuffie are so cute!
I just ordered this Jesse Tree ornament set to celebrate advent.
My favorite is watching movies and reading books with our Christmas tree lit in the background. Also, Rosie is my favorite.
Here are some simple ways to support my work:
Tap the heart button below.
Share with a friend.
Become a subscriber.
Do you have a lifestyle topic you’re interested in reading about? Submit content suggestions here.
Thank you for your kind support.
- Diana xo
Thank you for this!! 🤍