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Life gets busy.
(I don’t even like using that word. It’s like a cuss word for me.)
When we’re running around all hectic trying to get our kids to school on time or rushing from one appointment to the next, it’s easy to get lost in autopilot mode. We’re going through the motions and checking off to-do lists like it’s groundhog day.
If we don’t stop to check in with ourselves, we can get lost. Our priorities become skewed and we stop taking care of our needs.
PSA: You matter.
You deserve to take time for yourself. To pause, focus inward, and connect with your heart. Is it trying to tell you something?
I get it, there are seasons of life that are more demanding - a new baby, busy season at work (former tax accountant here), writing a book, moving to a new city, or any other major life transition. I would argue that the moment when you think you don’t have time to take care of yourself is when you need it the most.
It doesn’t need to be grand to be impactful. Whether it’s small pockets of time in your day or a weekend away, you need this.
I’d like to share some of the simple ways you can connect with yourself on a daily basis. As always, take what works for you and tailor it to your needs, or leave it altogether. Only you know what’s best for you.
Connect with Yourself
Spend time journaling. Whether it’s stream of consciousness writing or making a bullet point list of things on your mind, journaling gets all the “muck” out. I visualize it as a cleansing process - the words flow out of my inner self and out onto paper. You might be carrying around a weight that your heart is longing to release. Give it the space to let it all out. Sometimes it’s surprising what comes to the surface.
Some like to do a practice called Morning Pages where you write out 3 full pages in the morning to start your day. Others prefer to do a 5-minute Journal practice. However you decide to it, give journaling a try and see what you discover about yourself.
Read a book for pleasure, not work. It wasn’t until my post-college adult life that I actually started to enjoy reading. Reading technical writing, textbooks, and assigned literature is not really that fun (if it is for you, I applaud you!) Discover your personal reading style and dive into it.
Maybe you enjoy reading thrillers, or maybe it’s romance novels. Find what floats your boat so-to-speak and you might learn more about your personality. If you’re not sure where to start, pick a book off of Reese’s Book Club list and see where it leads you.
Nourish yourself with a healthy meal. When we’re rushing around in our day, it’s easy to head to the drive-thru line, grab a protein shake or skip a meal altogether. When you take the time to sit down and mindfully eat a nutritious meal, you’re taking care of yourself.
This might look like cooking a meal from scratch, assembling meal-prepped components, or sitting down at a full-service restaurant. Either way, it’s choosing to eat a balanced meal, focusing on your hunger level, and enjoying each bite mindfully.
Indulge in a coffee (or tea) moment. I love coffee. I’ll venture to say that it’s my favorite beverage (besides water of course). Coffee can be a grab-and-go fuel-up situation or it can be a slow-down savoring moment. Create a ritual around coffee, or your personal beverage of choice, and be present in the moment as you sip. I like to close my eyes for those first few sips and breathe as I take it all in.
Take yourself out to a coffee shop, make coffee at home, drink it mindfully, sit and reflect. Check in with yourself daily with this moment.
Take a slow walk. As you walk, look around and notice your surroundings. Listen to music or go earbud free and hear the sounds happening around you. A long, slow walk hits differently than a rushed walk to catch a train or to and from your car running errands. Indulge in a slower pace.
Make a list of intentions. For your day, your week, or your year. Schedule time on your calendar to make them happen. What do you want for yourself?
Create a personal mood board. This one is fun. Remember back-in-the-day when you had a pile of magazines and cut out all your favorite people, places and things? (Maybe it was just me.) This is a similar concept except now we’re adults and we have a better sense of what we like.
Find images, words, messages, anything that make you feel the most YOU and display them on a board. Post it up in a spot that you visit daily to remind you of your values, and come back to yourself regularly.
Listen to your favorite playlist. At home, in the car, on a walk, doing chores or just relaxing…whatever you’re doing, make it the soundtrack for your day.
Move your body in a way that feels good. Whether it’s an intense weightlifting session, restorative yoga or a walk around the block, make the time to connect your mind and body. Shake off any cobwebs of “stuckness” and move intentionally. I don’t think I’ve ever come out of an exercise session feeling worse.
Create a calming space in your home, just for you. This could be your nightstand, a whole room, a tabletop, a corner of your closet, you name it. Fill this space with things that ground you and bring you back to center.
Here are some ideas of what could live in this space:
Coffee maker (see #4)
Mood board (see #7)
Daily affirmations calendar (I have this one)
Crystals
Salt lamp
A Bible
A Book of poems (my favorite) or novel you’re reading
Your airpods
Candle
Diffuser
Scented hand lotion
Eye mask
Cleansing herbs
Your journal
A yoga mat
Practice meditation. They call it a practice because nobody does it perfectly. I used to find the idea of meditation intimidating, but then I realized it’s a lot simpler than we make it out it be. Just sit with yourself and listen. Even if it’s only for one minute, close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and just be.
You don’t have to remove all the thoughts from your brain in order to meditate successfully. Let the thoughts flow through you like a passing cloud in the sky, and notice them without judgement. You can do this over a warm beverage (see #4 above), while taking a walk, or listening to a guided meditation. Whatever method you choose, take a moment to focus on the present moment and accept your thoughts, emotions, and sensations for what they are.
Dry brush and oil your body. There are many benefits to dry brushing including skin exfoliation, increased blood circulation, and lymph drainage, but it is also a way to intentionally connect with your whole body. Use a natural bristle brush to create sweeping motions across your skin in the direction of your heart. After brushing, take a shower and then apply a nourishing oil. Focus on each individual part and give thanks for your beautiful body. Make it your regular body care ritual.
Sit in nature. Watch the sunrise or sunset. Lie down on your back and look up at the clouds. Sit under a tree. Stare at a body of water. Give yourself some nature therapy and space to reflect.
Take yourself out on a date. Have you ever tried it? There’s nothing like enjoying your own company. It’s sort of like that first time you take a drive alone after getting your driver’s license. It feels quiet, but liberating. You can do whatever you want to do.
I recently took myself out on a date to a local wine bar. I picked up some takeout sushi, grabbed a table outside, ordered my favorite glass of sauvignon blanc, and brought a book to read in case people-watching got old.
Table for 1, please!
It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind of work, household tasks and schedules. It’s important to connect with others, but equally important to connect with yourself. Make time to come back home to yourself for self discovery and reflection. Do it, and do it often.
What are some of the ways you enjoy a solo retreat?
My Favorites
I’m a big Harry Potter fan, so when I found this podcast series I was intrigued.
I’m here for the early 2000s (and 70s) revival of the flare pant. I just picked up these leggings from Athleta and they remind me of my younger days.
I just discovered the Organized Chaos Substack account and I already love it.
Thinking about what to do with my garden tomatoes. Yum!
My favorite thing to eat right now is a chocolate chip cannoli from our local bakery. I would eat one every day if I could!
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- Diana xo